Little Things
by Lady Lynn
Summary: Set in the Maurader's time. It's a humourous suicide fic. Finished.
1. Plotting

It was the Maurader's 7th year; as well as Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Black and Vylette Young's. While Severus, Lucius, and Narcissa were in Slytherin, Vylette was in Ravenclaw. The Mauraders; Sirius Black, James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew were in Gryffindor.  
  
"Shhhhh. They'll wake up!" Lucius whispered. Narcissa giggled. Severus stayed back, observing his friends. Vylette watched anxiously, wondering if her idea will work.Narcissa frequently assured her that it was a brilliant idea, but it didn't have much of an affect on Vylette.  
  
Lucius poured a clear liquid into the glass of water beside Sirius's bed, while Narcissa did the same to James's water. Then they went to Peter's and Remus's, doing the same as they did with the other two.  
  
Afterward, they snuck out of the Gryffindor tower as quietly as they came.  
  
"Who's to say they'll even drink the potion?" Vylette said, nervously before biting into some toast. They were in the Great Hall eating breakfast.  
  
"Who's to say the potion even works?" Severus muttered.  
  
"Severus, your potions always work great." Lucius said irritably. Severus was the one who brewed the potion, while Vylette came up with the plan to get it to them. She also had to come up with the plan to get into the Gryffindor common room. Narcissa was the one who executed that plan.  
  
"Your plan to get into the Common room worked great, why wouldn't this one?" Nacissa asked quietly.  
  
"There's too many holes in it. They might not drink their water. Or one will drink it, and the other ones will see what happens, and they wont drink it.." Vylette responded.  
  
"They're the Mauraders," Severus said calmly, "They're too stupid to realize it's the water."  
  
"If you say so." Vylette said, still unsure. Severus slipped his arm around her waist. He was sitting next to her.  
  
"We'll know if it worked when they come in." Lucius said, before eating some egg.  
  
"Yeah, they'd rather eat breakfast than go to the hospital wing, even if they're covered from head to foot in long, grotesque, greasy, hair. I still don't understand how you know how to make a potion for that, Sev." Narcissa said, grinning.  
  
"Don't call me 'Sev'. And I told you already, you just add more Mountain Troll Hairs than you would if you making a Hair growing potion." Snape said, obvisouly sick of repeating himself. "Vylette, you best be getting back to your table. The teachers might notice you over here."  
  
"Fine, fine." Vylette sighed, getting up and taking her toast with her as she walked to the Ravenclaw table.  
  
The doors to the Great Hall swung open. Three huge hairballs stepped in, and the students in Great Hall burst into laughter. Lupin was the only one unaffected by the potion, since he didn't drink his water when he woke. He followed his companions in.  
  
The Mauraders ignored all the student's comments as they stalked over to the Slytherin table. "You're going to pay for this, Malfoy!" Sirius hissed.  
  
James jabbed Severus in the back with his Wand, "Watch your back, Snape!"  
  
"James, Sirius, Peter, Remus... please take your seats." A kind voice said. It was Dumbledore.  
  
"Yes, sir." Remus said, pushing his friends to their seats. Dumbledore went back to the head table to eat his breakfast.  
  
"You know how much Malfoy loves his hair?" Sirius said, nastily, but before he could continue, Peter cut in.  
  
"Yeah." Peter said. Sirius glared at him, and Peter whimpered.   
  
"I'm going to chop it off." Sirius hissed.  
  
"Don't you think that's going a little too far?" Remus asked. Sirius stuffed a piece of toast in his mouth, so he couldn't answer.  
  
James answered for him, "You're not the one covered from head to foot in disgusting hair!"  
  
"You know, it kind of reminds me of that greasy git, Snape's, hair." Sirius said, smirking. Peter laughed, James grinned.  
  
"So how are you going to get to Malfoy's hair?" James ventured, before biting into some egg.  
  
"I'll just sneak into his dorm like he did ours." Sirius said, then to a sip of milk.  
  
"That reminds me, we'll have to tell the fat lady to change the password." Lupin said, quietly, to himself, before biting into a strip of bacon.  
  
"How do you purpose to do that, Sirius?" James asked after swallowing his egg.  
  
"Ill just borrow your invisibility cloak, and wait outside the picture to listen for the password." Sirius said, simply.  
  
"Do you have the patience for that, Sirius?" Remus asked, calmly, staring at his plate.  
  
Sirius frowned, "Well no, I don't. But you do, why don't you get the password for me?"  
  
"As a prefect, I'm supposed to refrain from that behavior." Remus said, seriously.  
  
"Oh, come on, Remus, please?" Sirius said, with a grin, and a michevious glint in his eyes.  
  
"Oh, all right." Remus said, drinking some milk.  
  
"So what are you going to do to Snape?" Sirius asked James, casually.  
  
James ran his hands through his hair, making sure to mess it up. "I'll hex his girlfriend."  
  
"Why not him?" Peter asked meekly.  
  
"Because it'll piss him off more that we went for her rather than him." James said, reasonably.  
  
"What kind of hex are you going to use?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Dunno. What do you suggest?" James said in response.  
  
Sirius grinned widely, "She's in Ravenclaw, so most hexes she'll be able to counter easily."  
  
"You could try an invisibility charm." Remus said, thoughtfully, "She wont know how to counter it, plus, it's playing off her insecurities." James and Sirius stared at him. Lupin looked uncomfortable. "Well, it's obvious she's worried no one notices her."  
  
Sirius and James lifted their eyebrows. "All right," James said, "That's settled. So, now that we're finished eating, how about we go to the Hospital Wing?"  
  
"Sure," Sirius said, pushing his empty plate away.  
  
"I'm going to the library," Remus said, "So when you get out, catch me there."  
  
The three hairballs, Peter, Sirius, and James, got up from the table and left the great hall, feeling the eyes of a dozen students follow them out. 


	2. James's Revenge

~*~ The Next Day (Sunday) ~*~  
  
"Remus, when are you going to get that password?" Sirius said, Impatiently. The nurse was able to turn him, Peter, and James back to normal over night.  
  
"Yeah, and I was thinking," James said, slowly, "How am I playing off her insecurities of she knows I hexed her?"  
  
"Don't bombard me with questions. Sirius, I'm working on it. James, you'll hide somewhere and hex her without her knowing. With this charm, she won't realize she's invisible, because her body will be visible to her. I suggest you put a silencing charm on her for added effects, even though she knows how to turn off the silencing charm once she figures it out."  
  
James was sitting down on a chair in the common room, and grinning as Lily came into the room. He messed up his hair. "Hey, Evans!" He said, hopping out of the chair, and going over to her.  
  
"Ill go get the password as soon as I finish this essay, Sirius." Lupin said, irritated because Sirius was hovering over him impatiently.  
  
Sirius breathed, "Fine. I'll go get James's cloak." Sirius said, going to their dorm.  
  
Lily smiled at James, "Sorry, I'm kind of busy right now.." she said, before rushing to the female dorms.  
  
James grunted, then walked over to Lupin. "I'm going to go hex Vylette now. Don't tell Peter where I've gone; he'll ruin it. You can tell Sirius, though. I'll be back later."  
  
-------  
  
~*~ Back to the Slytherins ~*~  
  
"What do you think they're going to do in retaliation?" Severus said, masking the nervousness in his voice quite well, but Vylette caught it.  
  
Severus, Lucius, Narcissa, and Vylette were all sitting outside by the lake, talking.   
  
"Something stupid. We'll just have to watch what we eat and drink for the next week, you know?" Lucius said.  
  
"Yeah, they always try that approach. The odds are they'll do the same thing we did to them, except make the hair bright pink or something. We'll just be prepared."  
  
"You guy's don't give them much credit, you know. Black, Lupin, and Potter are quite intelligent." Vylette said, thoughtfully, not realizing that wasn't the right thing to say.  
  
"Are you siding with them, Young?" Lucius said rather nastily, glaring at her. "Got a crush on Black, maybe? Or Potter? Or I dare say that canine-"  
  
"Leave her alone." Severus said darkly.  
  
"Your boyfriends getting jealous, Vy." Lucius said, smirking.  
  
Narcissa gasped, "Lucius!"  
  
"I'm getting sick of you, Vylette. You come and start hanging out with us, like you're actually a Slytherin, you think you'd ever fit in with us?"  
  
"That's enough, Lucius!" Snape said, pointing his want at him.  
  
"Shut up and sit down, Severus." Lucius snapped. Severus obeyed, giving Vylette a sorrowful look. Vylette stood up.  
  
"I'm not finished with you, Young!" Lucius hissed, "Sit back down."  
  
Vylette gave an emphasizing look at Severus. "Unlike some people-" She looked back at Lucius, "I don't obey your every command. You don't frighten me, you stupid git!"  
  
Vylette turned and stomped off. Severus immediately jumped up, following her.  
  
--------  
  
James was watching the entire scene from behind a tree. "Great, I'll get Vylette, then I'll give Snape a good hexing!" He muttered to himself as the two drew nearer. He readied his wand, pointing it at Vylette.  
  
"I don't get what his problem is." James could hear Vylette say. He then heard Severus echo behind her,  
  
"He doesn't like the idea of you being closer to be than he is." James had a hard time making that out, because Snape said it rather quietly. He watched as Vylette turned to Snape, wrapping her arms around his neck.  
  
"Disgusting," James said to himself, then muttered the invisibility charm. His aim was dead on, and it worked great. He immediately cast a silencing charm.  
  
"Vylette?" Snape said, surprised. he could still feel Vylette arms around him, but he couldn't see her, or hear her.  
  
"Yes?" She asked, but didn't hear herself. She frowned and released Snape's neck as he pulled back.  
  
"Where are you?" Snape said, looking around.  
  
"Who are you talking about, Severus?" Vylette said, then blinked. Why couldn't she hear her own voice? Why was her Sevvie ignoring her?  
  
James got out from behind the bush and pointed his wand at Severus. Before Severus could react, James muttered a hex that caused Snape to break out into boils. Then, James said another curse, that caused Snape's whole body to be cover in long, icky, untamed hair.  
  
"POTTER!" Severus hissed, going for his wand, but before he could do anything, James grabbed his broom, hopped on it, and flew off; FAST.  
  
Vylette pulled out her wand, pointing it at Snape, and said a few counter-curses that removed the hexes.  
  
Snape realized that the hexes had faded. "Either Potter is really crappie with hexes, or something funny is going on here."  
  
"I got rid of the Hexes." Vylette said, not hearing herself again. Of Course!, she thought, Someone put a silencing charm on me!. She pointed her wand at herself and said the counter-curse for it.  
  
"Sevvie?" She said calmly. Severus jumped.  
  
"What? Vy, where are you?" He looked around, confused.  
  
"You cant see me?" She whispered.  
  
"If I could see you, Vy I'd be-" He was cut off.  
  
"Who are you talking to, Snape?" It was Malfoy.  
  
"Vylette." Severus said, glaring at him.  
  
"I don't see Vylette." Lucius said calmly.  
  
"She's invisible." Nacissa said.  
  
"That bastard Potter! I'll kill him!" Snape hissed, ready to sprint off in the direction James went. he felt something touch his shoulder.  
  
"Don't worry about it, Severus. If its an invisibility charm, it'll wear off in a few hours." Vylette said calmly.  
  
"But I want to see you now." Severus whined.  
  
"Why, you don't get enough of her in the Charms classroom at night?" Lucius said nastily.  
  
"Lucius!" Narcissa hissed, "Vy, you don't know a counter curse for it?"  
  
"If I did, I would have used it by now." Vy said, miserably.  
  
"What's this, the all-knowing Ravenclaw cant remember a simple counter-curse?"  
  
"And I suppose you know it, Malfoy?" She spat back. It shut him up. Lucius and Narcissa started back to their common room, while Vylette and Severus went to sit under a nearby tree, and talked.  
  
"People are going to think you're talking to yourself, Sevvie." Vy teased.  
  
"No when they can hear your voice." He said, slowly, wishing her could see her... 


	3. Sirius's Revenge

~7:00 PM, Sunday~  
  
Remus stood by the Slytherin Common Room entrance. He was under the invisibility cloak, making no movements, and standing in a spot where no one usually went; but came dangerously close to him. He couldn't believe that not one Slytherin had entered the common room yet.  
  
Finally, he spotted Lucius and Narcissa making coming toward him. For some odd reason, Lucius paused, right beside Remus. Remus made a mental note that Lucius was uncomfortably close, and that he reeked of hair spray. Remus had to keep himself from gagging on the fumes. This would explain why Narcissa never stands too close to him.  
  
"I forgot the password, Lucius." Narcissa said, standing in front of the portrait. Lucius rolled his eyes, advancing toward Narcissa.   
  
He looked around, making sure no one was watching, and said, "You forgot it again? It's SERPENT you fool!, How did you manage to get into Slytherin anyway? I don't understand how anyone could forget that."  
  
The common room portrait swung open upon Lucius's command, and the two stepped into the common room, Narcissa pouting.  
  
Remus took the cloak off and made his way back to the Gryffindor common room.   
  
"Well? What is it?" Sirius said casually, watching Remus as he entered the common room and handed him the invisibility cloak.  
  
"Serpent." Lupin said with a sigh. Sirius brought the cloak up into the dorms and put it back into James's trunk. When he went back down into the common room, James was there.  
  
"Snape was pissed when he realized what I did to Vylette. I can imagine why he's dating her; she can remove almost any hex." James said, then added with a grin, "And seeing as he gets hexed so much..."  
  
Sirius laughed, "But I don't see what she sees in him. Who would want to be with that Greasy git.."  
  
James looked disgusted, "They almost kissed."  
  
Sirius laughed more, "I suppose that's when you put the charm on her? Poor Snape, you probably ruined his only chance at getting a kiss."  
  
"Why are we discussing Snape's love life?" Remus said, staring into the fire. The two boys peered at him, and Peter came into the room.  
  
"So when are you going to cut Lucius's hair off?" James inquired, taking a seat on the couch. Peter sat down on the other end of the couch, and Sirius plopped into a chair facing them.  
  
"Tonight. Remus told me the password. Imagine; Serpent. It's as if the Slytherins are too dumb to remember anything else." Sirius said, with a smirk.  
  
"Actually, Narcissa couldn't remember it. Got a good lecture from Lucius about it." Lupin said, still staring into the fire as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. James and Sirius laughed.  
  
"I don't blame her, I can barely remember our own password." Peter said, looking stupidly at the laughing boys.  
  
"Are you that dense, Peter? How hard is it to remember?" James said seriously, staring at him.   
  
The boys sat chatting, insulting slytherins and making jokes, until after curfew, when Sirius was to set his plan into action.  
  
"Serpent" Sirius muttered, and the portrait to the Slytherin Common room swung open. Sirius, still under the invisibility cloak, stepped inside. James wanted to come, but Sirius said it'd be easier to do by himself.  
  
Sirius kept the cloak on as he walked up the stairs, silently, into the 7th year dorms. He then proceeded to sneak over to Lucius's bed. He grinned, thinking, This is going to be easy. His hair is sprawled all over his pillow. He managed not to chuckle as he pulled the cloak off him. He removed a pair of scissors from his robes.  
  
Then, very quietly, he gently took a glob of Lucius's soft, blonde hair (not wanting to wake up), and began cutting. He left the hair sprawled upon Lucius's pillow as he finished.  
  
Sirius pulled the invisibility cloak back over him and snuck out of the Slytherin dorms. Half way back to the Gryffindor common room, he stopped in his tracks and backed against the wall, hearing someone coming. He held his breath.  
  
Quiet chatter and the clicking of shoes came closer as Sirius saw Serverus and Vylette approaching. Sirius decided to have some fun.  
  
"Snape." He said, in a low, calm voice. Vylette and Snape stopped walking.  
  
"Sounds like Black." Severus muttered, "I bet he's using that damned invisibility cloak."  
  
"What would he be doing down here?" Vylette whispered.  
  
"The odds are he's retaliating. Better be careful when I get to my dorms." Severus said quietly.  
  
"Smart-asses." Muttered Sirius, pulling his wand out and starting to mutter a hex.  
  
"Protego!" Vylette whispered. Sirius heard her, and knowing exactly what that shielding charm does, he stopped in mid-hex.  
  
He muttered, "Bitch," before clicking off down the hall.  
  
"I'll kill him-" Severus started.  
  
"Don't be silly, Severus." Vylette grinned, "Coming from him, that's probably a compliment," She looked into his eyes, "Considering his Animagus form."  
  
"Why do you think I want to kill him?" Severus hissed.  
  
-----  
  
Sirius snuck back into his dorm and pulled the invisibility cloak off. James, Remus, and Peter were waiting up for him.  
  
"Well?" James asked, grinning.  
  
"He's going to be horror-stricken when he wakes up in the morning." Sirius said, with a smirk.  
  
"What did you do with his hair?" Remus asked quietly.  
  
"I left it where it fell." Sirius smirked.  
  
"He's going to cry when he wakes up and sees his hair all over his bed." James grinned.  
  
"Yeah, it'll take him months to get the hair off." Peter said, grinning too. James, Remus, and Sirius just looked at him.  
  
-----  
  
~Next Morning~  
  
There was a loud scream coming from the 7th year boy's dorm. It woke the entire Slytherin house up.  
  
"MY HAIR!! MY HAIR!!" Lucius howled, off his bed and falling onto his knees, looking like someone who just lost their one true love. Which was true, in Lucius's case.  
  
"Relax, It'll grow back." Severus said calmly, sitting up in bed, unable to stop a grin from creeping over his face as he took in the scene before him. 


	4. Departure

There was blonde hair covering Lucius's bed. That wasn't the funny part, though. Lucius's hair was sticking up all over the places, and was about 30 different lengths. Lucius sobbed into his hands.  
  
"IT'LL GROW BACK?!" He yelled, "IT'LL TAKE MONTHS TO GROW BACK!"  
  
Severus just looked at him. "You could try a hair growing potion." He suggested.  
  
"IT'LL RUIN MY HAIR!" Lucius yelped, jumping to his feet. He looked awful.  
  
"But at least- STOP THAT!" Severus lunged at Lucius, grabbing his wrists. Lucius had grabbed the scissors and started pressing it to his wrists. Severus pried the scissors free.  
  
"What's going on up here?" Said a sleepy Narcissa, who had recognized the voices and came to check it out.   
  
"The idiots trying to kill himself!" Severus snapped, still restraining the struggling Lucius.  
  
"Wh- Oh, Merlin! What did you do, you idiot?!" Narcissa said, incredulously, staring at Lucius.  
  
"ONE OF THOSE DAMNED MAURADERS CHOPPED IT OFF!" He bellowed, his face wet with tears as he struggled against Severus's strong grasp. Lucius knew he was jumping to conclusions, but this was the most logical one.  
  
"And now he's trying to kill himself." Severus said calmly.  
  
"You look absolutely dreadful, Lucius. But that's no need to kill yourself, I still love you, even if you're not as attractive anymore." Narcissa said, her gaze still fixed on him in horror.  
  
Lucius rammed his elbow into Severus's gut, causing him to release Lucius and stumble back, coughing. "You bastard!" Severus hissed.  
  
Lucius grabbed the scissors off the floor and hurled them at the mirror, causing it to fall off the wall and break into many pieces. Narcissa stared, unsure of what to do. Severus made a dash to his bed for his wand. Lucius grabbed a large shard of glass off the floor.  
  
"STUPEFY!" Severus shouted. Lucius froze, stunned.  
  
"Narcissa, get Vylette, then tell a teacher. I'll stand here and watch him till you get back. Hurry, he wont be stunned long!" Severus said in a commanding voice.  
  
Narcissa nodded then ran out of the dorm. Severus ran over to Lucius and pried the glass from his grasp, accidentally cutting Lucius's hand. he stood back up, pointed his wand at the mirror, and said "Reparo!", causing it to fix.  
  
"Wingardium Leviosa!" He said, pointing his wand at the mirror, and it levitated. He replaced it on the wall. He then went over and picked the scissors up, setting them on top of the desk. After that, he went into the bathroom.  
  
He grabbed a cloth and soaked it with cold water. After wringing the cloth out, he went back into to dorm to find Lucius making a grab for a wand that was sitting on a desk. Severus dropped the rag, and made a dash for Lucius.  
  
Lucius grabbed the wand, dodging, Severus. He pointed the wand at him self and started "Avada Ked-"  
  
The dorm room door burst open, knocking Lucius forward, causing him to drop the wand.  
  
"WHERE IS HE?!" Vylette shouted as she pushed into the dorm, nearly tripping over him. "LUCIUS!"  
  
Lucius jumped up, stumbling away from Vylette as he made his way to his bed. Grabbing a fistful of hair, he dashed out of the room, dodging Severus once again and Vylette this time. He slammed the dorm room door shut, pointed his wand at it, and muttered a blocking charm, so they couldn't open the door.  
  
He dashed down into the empty common room (everyone's at breakfast). Lucius immediately began looking around for something, anything, to impale himself on. He did not want to go on living with his hair gone. He loved his hair more than anything in the world, and now that it was taken away from him, he had no choice but death.  
  
He looked down at the strands of hair he was still gripping in his hands. What the hell, he thought, dropping all the hair but a few strands. He sat down onto a leather chair, and wrapped the strands around his wrist. He pulled the strands tighter and tighter around his wrist. They didn't break, thanks to Lucius's wonderful treatment.  
  
Finally, the strands pierced into his skin, and he bit his lip. he pulled them tighter and tighter, allowing them to cut deeper and deeper. He had really strong hair, it was a wonder Sirius was able to cut through it. He finally loosed the hair around his wrist as he felt himself loose consciousness.  
  
Narcissa burst into the common room, with no teacher with her. She couldn't find a teacher that seemed to believe her. Her eyes widened in pure terror as she saw Lucius before her.  
  
A huge bang came from upstairs, and two students, Vylette and Severus, came flying down the stairs.  
  
"You're too late." Narcissa said. Slowly, she made her way over to Lucius. She did not want to go on living without him.  
  
Vylette and Severus stared, horror stricken as they stared at the now dead Lucius Malfoy, and the fact that the common room was now practically flooded with blood.  
  
"How can one wizard produce that much blood?" Vylette uttered, suddenly looking utterly amazed.  
  
Narcissa cupped her hands, scooping some of the very abundant Lucius blood into her hands. She brought her hands to her lips and drank the blood. She instantly dropped dead.  
  
"Lucius's blood must be poison." A voice said from the common room entrance.  
  
----END---- 


End file.
